As the culmination of some five or more millennia worth of development, today's culture continues to socialize youth as thought-driven individuals. Much of what leads to the development of "ego" is so subtly woven into the language and habits we teach that we have no idea what’s happening, much less any intent to have done so.
It simply is a product of society, and this isn't unique to our much-maligned western culture, it is a worldwide phenomenon. Culture simply hasn't evolved beyond this yet. Sometime off in the future, there will be no confusion about ego, and the pure awareness that underlies all superficiality will finally be seen and taught as who "you" really are. In order to get there, however, we must first recognize the problem at hand.
Now, because our eyes could not see our own heads, we invented the mirror. Other people can tell us what we look like, but that is no substitute for seeing it through your own eyes. If only we could invent a psychological "mirror", and thus be able to see ourselves for who we really are, without the clouding of ego. For many of us, we look through the lens of the ego in an attempt to look back upon it, which as we all know is quite difficult if not impossible! In essence, we’re trying to leave out the ego in order to gain knowledge of the ego. Although life would be much easier if it did, this does not work.
There is a saying that goes “the fool who persists in his folly will become wise.” In meditation, many learn to leave the ego out to a great extent in hopes of gaining knowledge of the “true” self, because knowledge is the mainstay of learning in our culture. These people are only “fools” because they haven’t yet realized that there is no knowledge of self. No description can be made of it, “self” is simply awareness. Due to the difficulty of this approach, these meditators become wise by practicing for such a long time that they become very skilled at releasing the ego. It is as if their failure to see their folly was their guiding light to their true self.
Their method of approaching the issue is to remove their “lens” slowly and then feel the true nature of self. In other words, they’ve learned to “go outside” of the ego. Meditation can only be effective when the mind is clear, and it takes a special individual to be an effective meditator without a lot of practice and learning. Many people lack the kind of truly honest self-discipline that is required in order to meditate in such a manner. It is not outlandish to think that there are some people for whom sitting in quiet, self-less meditation is not the only lane on the road to enlightenment. Useful meditation is excessively difficult to get started at, it is like a drawn out version of the first few weeks of going back to the gym after the fitness-hiatus of an extended holiday season. Speaking of which...
Luckily, there is another side to the coin of self-exploration, and it is not one of going “outside” of the self, but one of diving right into the center of it. We harbor anxiety for situations like being embarrassed, or being turned down on a date, or for our future success, or we may (and most of us do) have the residue of former traumas sticking to our mental gears, slowing us down. We have such an acute response to this anxiety that when something triggers it, we shut down and refuse to really “feel” our fear, whatever it be.
As the Buddha says, every thought is a seed. Every time we anxiously suppress one of these thoughts, the seed is forced to germinate as a weed gnawing upon the roots of the lush forest of our psyche. We see this in effect when we’re angry about something. Anger underpins our reactions to everything, even to our loved ones, until we reach down, grab the stems and leaves of the anger, and uproot the plant.
Just as you must securely grab a weed as near the roots as possible, and carefully dig it up in order to make sure it doesn’t grow back, you must thoroughly and carefully experience your anger and the causes for it in order to truly rid yourself of it. This works the same way for all negative emotions, for all suffering.
Use moments of anxiety and fear as opportunities to truly get to know yourself. Dive into why you really care if people see you with your pants down in the hallway, and the true reason will do nothing but make you laugh in the end.
Namaste,
Mary Jane Kasliner ~ Feng Shui Master & Yoga Teacher
Body Space Alignment
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